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Give these Fun(ny) Goodies to Your Valentine this Year

February 1, 2022

It’s the first day of February and you know what that means…fourteen days till the most romantic, heart-throbbing, red heart drama day there is known to man.

Not.

Now, if you LOVE Valentine’s Day, I apologize. And, I recognize this poo-pooing of a holiday flies in the face of my “Celebrate it All” philosophy. But, February 14 is a little like January 31–a bit of a strain. I mean, who can stay up past midnight and who can live up to the Hallmark commercials? We’re straining to do either over here at the Buchanan household.

I’ll admit, I used to have higher aspirations for both of these holidays back in my twenties and on into my thirties. I thought my engineer hunk of a hubster could get it right if he just paid enough attention. Let me tell you when I realized that wasn’t going to happen…

The year he gave me that print (24″x36″…I kid you not) of several ducks swimming in a lake or pond or some indiscriminate body of water. Ducks. Not cartoon ducks (not that cartoons would be better). But, realistic representations of water fowl. Serious wildlife art complete in a thick wood frame, ready to be hung.

Now, I don’t think you have to be a genius to answer this: On which planet does Valentine’s Day = DUCKS?

So, Now You Know What I’m Dealing With Over Here

It is from this auspicious romantic history I come to you with some alternative Valentine’s Day presents. Because maybe–just maybe–a laugh is as important as a dozen roses.

Start the day off right with this Heart Shaped Mini Waffle Maker or the X’s and O’s one in romantic magenta. But if you’re not a morning person (and Valentine’s Day falls on a Monday this year, so that’s a double whammy), serve a big ol’ bowl of Froot Loops Sweetheart CerealOr, for the more heart-health conscious of you, Honey Nut Cheerios Heart Shaped. Just be sure the milk hasn’t expired.

 

Keep the Sizzle Sizzlin’

If you want to keep the romance sizzling throughout the day, try sneaking in some of these heart sticky notes in  unexpected places. Of course, write something on the paper. Something meaningful like “U R the Best” or “I Heart U.” You know, something really original.

This game of Marital Bliss might be right up your romantic alley. Are alleys ever romantic? Not sure. Anyway, this does look like fun! Disclaimer: I haven’t played it, so don’t hold me accountable for any spicy flavors that show up.

Also, And, Plus, Or…

If you’re more into the fashion side of things, you could order these fun socks, complete with your picture on them. You know, so your lovey-dovey never forgets who loves him from the top of his head to his tippy-toes. This company offers boxer briefs and panties, but you’ll have to decide for yourself how you feel about that. Or, you could give these “chocolate socks“–no calories, but in good taste! (I crack myself up.) This company, Rainbow Socks, has some fabulous options!

Sugarfina can fix you up with scrumpdillyicious non-chocolate goodies for your Valentine! If you want to go all-out, look at this option. Or, if you want a simpler (read: less expensive) goody try these. And since I’m a writer I especially love this option!

If your Valentine likes a long, hot soak after he works out, these bath bars by Uncommon Goods might just tickle his fancy. (I’m keeping this PG, folks. Get your mind right, for heaven’s sake!) Or, you might try an all-out war with stress and bomb his bath with these. The packaging may be a little girly for a manly man, but you can always pop a great, big, fat, red heart over the flowers. These look fabulous, too! Of course, I won’t tell if you order up a little bath magic for yourself!

If you want to really heat it up, try this mug warmer. Or warm his stressed-out neck and shoulders with this handy-dandy contraption. It’s red and weighted–the ultimate Valentine!

Have you ever strayed from the tried-and-true gifts for Valentine’s Day? Add some ideas (or funny experiences) in the comments. And enjoy LOVE!

 

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