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There’s Nothing Like Old Friends to Warm Your Spirit

January 10, 2023

When I was about four years old I couldn’t understand why my mother had to go to “Bridge Club.” For crying out loud, she could stay home with Dad, my brother, and me and have a lovely time getting us what we needed. Right? No! Bridge club night was sacred.

It only took me a little over 20 years to understand.

From left: Sheila, Gayle, Julia, and Mom (Karen) enjoying their monthly lunch. It seems food has replaced bridge!

We Need a Name

I’m dubbing this group “Four Fabulous Friends Forever” (or 4-F for short) because more than one of them has said: “We need a name!” I’ve had a ball learning about these wonderful women. I think you will too–because we all can relate. Friendships are sometimes for a season but, for a special few, friendship spans the seasons.

But let’s go back to how this all started. I’ll let Mom explain how they met:

“It was 1964 and we had been transferred to Paducah for work. We rented an apartment at the then “posh” Black Oaks Apartments.  I met Julia and some other “Black Oakians” and formed a bridge club. That’s where we met Gail and Sheila. And that was 58 years ago!”

Mom, who moved to Florida for her to return to school in 1983, lost contact with them until she moved back to Kentucky and ran into different women at various places. Important places. Like Hobby Lobby, Home Goods, and Tuesday Morning. You know. Important. At each of these chance meetings they talked about getting together, but didn’t. Until one day when Sheila called.

“About a year ago we moved to Paducah (from their Lake Barkley home) and lo and behold, I got a call from Sheila and she and Gail asked if I wanted to go to lunch instead of just talking about it! Well, OF COURSE!!!! The lunch lasted two hours. We had sooooo much fun that we decided to do it on a regular basis. Then we heard Julia had moved back to town and there you have it.”

Here's a picture of Mom when she was young, a couple of years before she met Gayle, Julia, and Sheila.

Old Friends Make the Best Friends

Sheila said that despite the passage of time and life’s circumstances, the women picked right back up where they were and “rebonded.”

“We are having so much fun. Old friends make the best friends!!! We think alike, we dislike the same people (just kidding), we grew up together as young adults raising children, being broke, playing bridge till all hours even if you had to go to work the next day. Now we openly share our personal successes, joys, sorrows, and challenges without reservation—we have arrived!!!!”

Gayle agrees: “We have history. An understanding of life’s rewards and challenges. The first time we got together (after 40 years) we just picked up where we had left off.”

Julia said that everyone in this group of friends is special because they have a lot of history. “In a span of fifty plus years, we have experienced deaths, divorces, knee replacements, births of grandchildren, joy and sadness. This history cements our friendship.”

What’s changed?

Sheila said, “They are the same dear women and friends–just a bit more mature with more refined attributes.”

I love the way she describes them…

“Gayle has always been the life of the party, a good listener, intuitive, and one to keep up with other old friends.  She sure is fun to be around and always positive. I would say Gayle is a PEACOCK!

“Julia continues to be sweet, kind, and thoughtful.  She is also a good listener and one to think before she responds (a great trait).  Never to open mouth insert foot! I would say Julia is a DOVE!

“Karen is of course the most talented of the four friends.  She also shares very useful information so she must be smarter that the rest of us too.  She is so animated—her eyes, mouth, smile, and hands all come alive when she is telling a story.  So confident!  I would say Karen is an EAGLE!”

Since Sheila didn’t say what kind of bird she is. I’m going to assign her the role of OWL since she has “zest for details and analysis and is energized by tasks that ensure high-quality results” (I took that description straight from an article on the four bird personality types! Which I wasn’t even aware of until just this minute.)

Here's a picture of Gayle taken in 1967. I was seven and the 4-F's were going strong!

What’s Changed?

Gayle thinks every woman has changed for the better–not so much “changed” as enhanced or increased in good qualities. “I would like to think I’m more tolerant and less judgmental. I am very sentimental. I cry at the drop of a hat! I think the other women continue to be solid, steady, caring, and fun to be with.”

Julia thinks she has changed quite a lot over the years. “Smaller problems do not slow me down like in the years past. I pick my battles more selectively. I do not feel socially pressured like in my younger days. So what if the tablecloth has several wrinkles and friends are coming for lunch?”

As for her friends–“Basically, my friends are the same as years ago. They still have the same values as our younger days. Some of do have a few more wrinkles, but our love for each other has not changed.”

What Advice Would You Give Your Younger Self?

These women have a fount of collective wisdom they’ve earned over the years. They are overflowing with great advice.

Julia says to enjoy life to the fullest. “Do not sweat the smaller stuff. Always put God and family first. Take care of your needs. Once I was interviewing for a teaching job, and the administrator ask me if I would put my job first. I told him no; God and my family would come first. (I was offered the job.) Life is not always a bowl of cherries.”

Gayle agreed: “Life will have its highs and lows. Most likely you will not get everything you dreamed of. Faith will set you free. Replace worry with hope. Know who you are and what you stand for.”

From left: Sheila, Mom (Karen), Julia, and Gayle

Make new friends,
But keep the old.
One is silver,
And the other, gold.
A circle’s round
It has no end
That’s how long
I’m gonna be your friend.

A fire burns bright,
It warms the heart.
We’ve been friends,
From the very start.
You help me,
And I’ll help you
And together
We will see it through.
The sky is blue
The Earth is green
I can help
To keep it clean.
Across the land
Across the sea
Friends forever
We will always be.

Reconnection

Has the FFFF’s story inspired you to reconnect with an old friend? I hope so! Friends are treasures of the heart, with the ability to warm your soul like a fire on a cold day. Go ahead, find that dear old friend you’ve lost touch with and be prepared for some renewed joy.

And please let us know if you have a story about reconnecting with an old friend!

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